Hot Flashes

Whew! They ain’t no joke

No joke coping, livin with Hot flashes

Hot flashes invaded my body when I wasn’t watchin

Watchin now, feelin my body

My body’s hormones at war with myself

Myself and my hormones raging war

Raging war, when and as they please

When and as they please, they don’t bother to consult me, PLEASE

PLEASE, tell me why do things, people at war, rioting, looting, burning

Please tell me why they tear up their own neighborhoods war, rioting, looting, burning

Burning up everywhere, even­ at the grocery store

At the grocery store waiting in the line with a slow moving clerk

Clerk taking her good ole time

Time moves so darn slow when my hormones are raging against me

Rage against me, burning up like God custom made a huge hair dryer just for me

Hair dryer just for me cover my whole body

Whole body hot, sweatin in line, all the time of all lines, in the grocery line

In the grocery line tearing open my coat, hair gettin bigger and bigger, bushy and big, frantically scanning

Frantically scanning my things, my groceries for a fan

A fan, any fan will do—grocery list too small

Small of my back, all down my back quickly becoming Niagra Falls

Niagra Falls, if only I could dip in the Falls in the grocery store, in January

January O, grabbin O from the mag rack, O might due

O Might due as a makeshift fan til I can get outta this oven

This oven that is my body

My body can’t escape my raging self, but O Oprah

O Oprah probably got hot flashes too, but she got other means

There’s got to be other means of escaping this raging lady

Raging lady, she ain’t no joke—had no idea she was so cantankerous and moody, a thorn, it seems

It seems, she visits me anytime she pleases

She pleases when I’m driving

Driving in January with windows down hysterically trying to cool off

Off I must seem, but she visits when she pleases, see

See, she pleases when I wanna sleep at 2 am

At 2am thinking I wanna stay warm in January

Warm in January don’t mean hot as hell

Hot as hell under those covers

Covers off, kicking, kicking covers off

Off and on, off and on, On and off, On and off

Off in a world of my own because nobody knows but me what a nuisance she can be

She can be a… be a hot mess

Hot mess like somebody’s grandma forced to play peek-a-boo for hours with a four-year old child

Child, them hot flashes ain’t no joke; they’re for real

For real I thought the sisters were exaggeratin, blowin things outta proportion

Proportion, what’s that, girl

Girl, them hot flashes ain’t no joke

Ain’t no joke carrying around this oven that is my body, sista, Whew! gotta find some herbs

herbs like black cohosh, but in the meantime Whew!

Whew! Girl, Gimme a fan!